547 - Profit and Lace

Data Stellare Sconosciuta: Il Grande Nagus Zek e Ishka arrivano su Deep Space Nine annunciando che il Grande Nagus ha emendato la legge ferengi per concedere pari opportunità alle donne. Tuttavia, questa decisione ha gettato la società ferengi nel caos, Zek è stato deposto e la sua carica è occupata in via temporanea dal liquidatore Brunt, che assumerà la carica di Grande Nagus in via definitiva entro pochi giorni.

In questo episodio...

• Il Grande Nagus Zek emenda la Dichiarazione delle Opportunità dei Ferengi per riconoscere alle donne gli stessi diritti degli uomini.

Note

• Il dialogo finale nell'episodio tra Quark e Aluura non è incluso nello script del CD Companion di Deep Space Nine, per il quale l'episodio termina con la battuta di Rom «No man ever gave me a ring».
• Nel sito ufficiale di Symba Smith si fa riferimento anche ad una sua apparizione in Voyager, ma non c'è riscontro di ciò in alcuna altra documentazione online, incluso IMDB.
• Zek, preso alla sprovvista per l'inaspettato arrivo di Nilva, presenta Quark femmina come Lumba. To lumber in inglese significa camminare con passo pesante, infatti in una scena Leeta, quando Quark le chiede cosa c'è che non va nel suo modo di camminare risponde «You're lumbering».

Citazioni

Aluura: But I'm always nice to you.
Quark: I think you could be nicer.
Aluura: How much nicer?

Sisko: A Dominion invasion of Ferenginar?!?!
Rom: Think of the terrible repercussions to the Alpha quadrant!
Worf: I cannot think of any.

Quark: Females?.. A «valuable resource»?

Brunt: Over my dead body!!!
Zek: If that's what it takes!!

Quark: Looks like your stupidity has saved you again!
Rom: It comes in handy, sometimes.

Ishka: I hope the experience taught you something.
Quark: It made me more compassionate, more empathetic, more nurturing. I feel like I'm trapped in my worst nightmare!

Scene tagliate

Dopo che Zek e Rom dicono a Quark che deve diventare donna, erano prevista queste scene:

48   INT. INFIRMARY

 Once again Rom paces the room while the Nagus waits
 patiently, Maihar'du standing nearby.

     ROM
   He's been in there an awfully long time.

     ZEK
   It's a delicate procedure.

     ROM
    (thinking it over)
   I'll say.

49   NEW ANGLE

 as Bashir emerges from surgery, still wearing his
 surgical gown.

     ROM
   Doctor -- what is it? Did
   something go wrong?

     BASHIR
    (thoughtful)
   That depends how you look at it.

     ZEK
   The operation -- was it a success?

     BASHIR
   I suppose you could say that.

     ZEK
   That's good.

     BASHIR
    (not convinced)
   I hope so.

 Bashir calls back through the doorway.

     BASHIR
   You can come out now.

50   ANOTHER ANGLE

 After a beat, Quark, wearing a surgical gown, steps out
 into the room.
 His lobes are smaller, more petite; his chest larger
 and more feminine; in short, Quark has been surgically
 altered to resemble a Ferengi female.

     ROM
   Brother, you look... beautiful.

 Quark starts WEEPING uncontrollably.

     BASHIR
   He's a little emotional... his
   endocrine system needs some time
   to adjust to its new hormonal
   balance.

 Quark WEEPS even harder.

     BASHIR
   He'll be all right in a few
   minutes. Now if you'll excuse me,
   I have to go figure out how I'm
   going to enter this into my
   medical log.

 Bashir EXITS, leaving Zek, Rom and Maihar'du to stand
 there watching Quark weep.

50A  CLOSE ON QUARK

 as he looks at his fellow Ferengi. When Quark speaks,
 his voice pitch wavers wildly -- from low to high and
 high to low.

     QUARK
   Does anyone have a handkerchief?

 Maihar'du tentatively hands him a handkerchief. Quark
 takes it gingerly and dabs his tears.

     QUARK
   Where are my clothes? I want to
   go back to my quarters.

 Zek nods to Maihar'du, who lifts up a gift box.

     ZEK
   Try this on.

 The Nagus opens the box and takes out a Ferengi dress
 which he holds up for Quark to see.

 Quark takes one look at the dress and starts BAWLING again.

     ROM
   Must be the wrong size.

 And off this moment, we:

         FADE OUT.
                        END OF ACT TWO

                           ACT THREE

 FADE IN:

52   INT. ROM'S QUARTERS

 Rom, Leeta and Maihar'du are hovering around Quark,
 obscuring him from view. Zek is seated to one side,
 watching the "preparations". (NOTE: Quark's voice
 continues to fluctuate between high and low, low and high.)

     QUARK (O.S.)
    (masculine voice)
   Oww! That hurts.

     LEETA
   Oh, don't be such a baby. They're
   just earrings.

     QUARK (O.S.)
    (feminine voice)
   They're heavy.

     ROM
   You'll get used to them.

     QUARK (O.S.)
   I hope not.

     LEETA
   Would you stop doing that.

     QUARK (O.S.)
   Doing what?

     LEETA
   Looking down. Now hold still, I'm
   almost done.

Quando Quark/Lumba e Nilva si recano al bar di Quark per mangiare, al loro arrivo al tavolo nello script era presente questa annotazione e la battuta di Quark non presente nell'episodio:

61   INT. QUARK'S

 Quark and Nilva make their way toward a corner table.
 Quark tries to shield his face from the crowd, but he's
 unsuccessful. As Quark passes by Morn, Morn DROPS his
 glass in surprise.

 A Ferengi waiter stares mouth-agape at this clothed
 Ferengi female who looks suspiciously like his boss.
 Other customers pick up on the striking similarity.

     NILVA
    (misinterpreting all the attention)
   See how everyone's staring? Even
   aliens find a clothed Ferengi
   female shocking.

Quando Nilva accompagna Quark/Lumba nel suo alloggio per il dessert, era previsto questo scambio di battute:

63A  INT. NILVA'S QUARTERS

 The door OPENS to allow Nilva and a very nervous Quark to ENTER.

     NILVA
   Come in, come in. It's so good
   not to be stared at.
    (a beat)
   Although I must admit, I did find
   it somewhat... stimulating.

     QUARK
   You know the Replimat has very
   tasty desserts.

     NILVA
   Not as tasty as the one I have in
   mind. You have the most delicate
   little lobes. I think I'll start
   with them.

64   OMITTED

65   ANGLE ON QUARK

 as he realizes that he's Nilva's dessert of choice.

Quando Brunt, nell'alloggio di Nilva, insiste che Lumba è un maschio, alla fine urla tutta la sua disperazione dicendo «His name's Quark!». Nello script erano presenti queste battute:

 Nilva looks over at Quark, finally accepting this
 information. Nilva holds out his arm for Quark.

     NILVA
    (shrugging)
   What's in a name?

 Quark smiles and puts his arm through Nilva's. As he
 passes Brunt, Quark reaches over and softly strokes
 Brunt's lobes with his finger.

     QUARK
   What can I say? It was love at first sight.

 Brunt reacts to Quark's touch with a mixture of horror
 and pleasure.

A volte nell'episodio cambia qualche parola rispetto allo script, ma nella scena che si svolge nell'alloggio di Nilva con Quark e Nilva è completamente stravolta rispetto quella riportata nello script. Ecco com'era prevista:

66   INT. NILVA'S QUARTERS

 Moments later.

     NILVA
   I never thought I'd find a clothed
   female so enticing.

 Nilva starts towards Quark who backs away.

     QUARK
   I'm not that enticing. What you
   need is a good night's sleep.

 Quark's back is to the wall.

     NILVA
   A little oo-mox and I'll sleep like a baby.

 Nilva is about to press his body against Quark's, when
 Quark slips out of his grasp.

     QUARK
   I hear the station has some very
   nice holosuites...

     NILVA
   I don't like holosuites.

 Nilva suddenly lunges for Quark, who leaps up off the
 couch and backs away.

     QUARK
   Chairman Nilva! What's gotten
   into you?

     NILVA
   It's my wife. She hasn't touched
   my lobes in months!

 Quark gets a table between them. They begin circling
 it -- first one way, then the other.

     QUARK
   I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe
   she's bored -- she probably needs
   to get out more.

     NILVA
   I don't want to talk about her.
   In fact, I don't want to talk at
   all.

 Nilva makes another lunge at Quark.

     NILVA
   My lobes burn for you. If you
   don't believe me, touch them.

     QUARK
   I'll take your word for it.

     NILVA
   You said you'd do anything for me!

     QUARK
   I lied.

     NILVA
   But I need you!

     QUARK
   No, you don't!

     NILVA
   Come to me, my little love slave.

 Nilva leaps over the table and grabs hold of Quark,
 pinning him against the wall. Quark struggles to get away.